After 18 years together, Kris Kachirisky watched the love of her life dress for dinner and knew.
"This is my last anniversary with my husband," she thought.
They went for crab cakes, grabbed a window seat at a Lake Oswego restaurant overlooking the water. Alex Kachirisky, as Kris knew her spouse then, wore chinos and a button-down shirt.
Soon, the clothes would be different. That name would be, too.
As much of the country negotiated new cultural norms, Kris Kachirisky spent the last year learning to redefine her marriage. She tried Google, but searching "wife of transgender spouse" yielded nothing useful. She called nonprofits and found plenty of resources for transgender people, but none for their partners, nothing for women like her.
She devoured every episode of "Transparent." She watched "Bruce" become "Caitlyn" then practiced saying "Aly" when she used to say "Alex." She listened to podcasts, read books, blogs and magazine articles. Everything forecasted doom. The couple on Transparent hadn't made it. Caitlyn Jenner was going through a divorce.
But Kris Kachirisky didn't want her relationship to end. She loved her husband. Could she learn to love her wife?